A Cloud of Mystery

Have you ever moved a piano? Knowing the way pianos are usually moved, you should remember if you had, but, for those who have never experienced the wonders of this particular physical labor, allow me to describe due process. Imagine getting six of your strongest friends stacked around this massive object. A few simple steps follow. First of all, with six people around the piano, the fastest anyone can move is a shuffle. Second, since pianos have enough handholds for two, the remaining four people do nothing and only serve to threaten the balance in the air. Then come stairs or any other obstacle presenting itself in the middle of the path to and from the moving truck. Amatur movers consider the move to be successful if the piano can only receive a single wound to the structure of the piano like, say, breaking off a leg, and five superficial injuries like scratches, dents, and scrapes. Getting off with no damage is more akin to a miracle. That is the way people believe pianos should be moved.

And people are crazy.

Suprising as it may sound, there is a better way! For many there is only one step: call a professional piano mover. What's that I hear? You want to know how to move a piano without all the hassle? If you follow this one simple rule, your next piano move will be 100 times easier. Never carry the piano. Carrying a piano is about the dumbest thing you can do. The only reason you pick up the piano is to set it on and off a set of wheels called a dolly. From there you roll it everywhere it needs to go. Yes, there's a reason pianos only have two handholds. Only two people are needed! Two people are fully capable of rolling most pianos around any obstales. Stairs? No problem. Outside porch flights are perfect for ramps. Inside stairs require the piano to be placed on a skide and then slide up the stairs, but never, ever, carried up the stairs.

Yesterday I moved thirty one pianos. My father and I are machines. We were setting up a steinway sale, and at one point my father calculated we moved a grand piano from the truck into the store and set it up, lire and all, in about ten minutes per piano. You too are capable of such feats. All you need is experience, equipment, and the ability to remember one rule. Never, under any circumstance, carry a piano.